Gubba Gubba Hey!

I think that we've all, at some point, found ourselves in a state of apopleptic rage at the coverage of the BBC and ITV at this World Cup. ITV, we can almost forgive. It seems to be their job to be nowhere near as good as the BBC, and we understand this. Bob Wilson wasn't as good as Des Lynam. Brian Moore wasn't as good as Barry Davies. No matter how much money they pour into it (and if you've ever wondered where all that money you wasted getting Cannon & Ball voted out of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" went, take a moment to consider how well-dressed Terry Venables looks even though he hasn't had a job in football for a couple of years), they can't quite manage it.

The BBC, on the other hand, have no excuse. Trillions and trillions pounds of taxpayers money (a slight over-exaggeration, but you take my point), and they decide to spend their money on (whom I presume will be John Motson's long-term replacement as head commentator) Jonathan Pearce, whose inane dribblings are the vocal equivalent of somebody scratching their fingernails down a blackboard. All of this is put into sharp focus when one considers that the BBC have left their long-term commentary stalwart at home for this tournament. I'm referring, of course, to the peculiarly-named, almost-helium-voiced, Tony Gubba.

A friend of mine has a very good Tony Gubba story. He works for a software company, and a couple of years ago they were launching a sports game. For the pre-release PR event, they played the game live and hired The Gubba to commentate on it. All of this was going well until it had finished, and our Tony, unaware that the stage wasn't as wide as he presumably thought it was, walked to he back of the stage and fell off it. That's the sort of man we're dealing with here. A true legend. Bearing this in mind, I've decided to start a petition to RE-INSTATE THE GUBBA. I urge you all to sign it. The World Cup just isn't the same without him.

Edit: I've just been notified that The Gubba was still commentating when he fell of the back of the stage. EVEN BETTER.